The heart of the matter...

You rarely get posts with this tone from me, but I want to share where I am now as a parent of an almost three year old.

If you know us well, you know that I’m constantly plagued by EB’s sass/behavior/belligerence/stubbornness/WHATEVER. It’s funny, occasionally cute, but I’m OBSESSED with her using manners (and she’s pretty good, let me give her credit), waiting her turn to speak and not embarrassing me (which falls way down on the list simply because kids talk..you never know what they’re gonna say and if it’s embarrassing, it’s likely because it’s true. Thank you my little conscious shadow). Basically, she’s almost three and I expect her to act 7 and find myself quite impatient with her. SHE’S TWO! Anyway, the Women’s Ministry at church started up their fall studies again and “Spiritual Parenting” jumped off the page, into my lap and tugged on my heart during our entire church service. I prayed about it, asked Jason to support me on Bible Study nights by getting home on time and I raced to sign up…….. By nature I can be a little shy, but jumped in with both feet (and prayed about my class the whole way to church because I was a NERVOUS wreck..God has a way of working things out). Let me preface by saying, I’m in week two. Week one, alone, left me a carnivore’s sized plate of brain meat to feast on…. I feel like the book and the class were written ALL for me. Did you know we can’t control our children’s behavior? Like, I SOLEY cannot control it, simply because I cannot control anyone but myself (see, I need a lot of help). However, by placing them on the path of the Divine, her heart and actions will be pointed toward the cross. I was pretty darn sure I could control her… in fact, I tried REALLY hard. HEAR ME! I did NOT say she’ll never talk back or we’ll never have explosive moments (because we did..the VERY NEXT MORNING. I yelled, she screamed louder and we ended up in war ((with a two year old. Hilarious))), but as we train her up in the way she should go (God willing) my/our actions will place her on the path of divine. Now, more than anything, that is accountability for me as her mom… it’s a challenge…it’s exciting….slightly overwhelming for my flesh. Again, a simple reminder that my flesh cannot do it. I, myself, must be in the Word. Our teacher shared a phrase that I’ve become obsessed with, “What’s down in the well comes up with the bucket.” For me that means when I’m parenting Evie-the good, the bad and the ugly- I cannot draw on my flesh alone, but I must be rooted in His word for strength, guidance and direction. At the end of the day, God’s grace is enough to cover my inability to be the “perfect parent.”
4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. Deuteronomy 6:4-9